"Hello, can't you see me?"

I stopped by my favorite pastry shop for a few hot pretzels and an apple strudel. I was patiently waiting in line when to my right a woman and her husband came up and stood right next to me hedging their way to the side of the window. You see, for some reason some folks have a difficult time waiting their turn. Many times if you aren't paying attention someone will go right up to the side of the window and stick their head in and place their order. It amazes me! It is as if they don't see that there are people patiently waiting their turn. Well today, I knew what she was preparing to do. I have seen this maneuver many times and I have fallen prey to it as I wasn't standing close enough to the person in front of me (the physical closeness is rather uncomfortable for this North American). The folks in front of me completed their order and as they moved away she began to move in for the kill. I however, stepped right in front of her and I placed my order. My heart was pounding, and because of the adrenaline rush I think I ordered "Doi covergi fara sara" (2 pretzels without country) instead of "Doi covergi fara sare" (2 pretzels without salt). One letter makes a BIG difference. Anyway, what is ironic about this experience is that I had just had a conversation with myself (do you do that?) about trying to show something different with those I encounter. I will be honest and say that this type of disregard is a very difficult thing for me to just let happen (obviously!). I find it amazingly rude and I want to shout, "Hello…can't you see me standing here waiting my turn? Are you that much more important than the rest of the human race?" And, I will admit that this type of disregard doesn't endear me to the culture. I find it more difficult to experience warm fuzzies for folks who can't seem to act in a respectful way. God has been speaking to me about being vulnerable, about opening myself up to Himself and to others. I responded in a defensive way with the woman. I felt like I was on the basketball court again blocking out my opponent, trying to prevent her from scoring on me. I am learning that I need God's Holy presence in my life every second of every day. When left to myself, I don't show something different. I am realizing more and more that all of my encounters must be accompanied by the Holy Spirit - that I must be in constant communication with the One who is prefect and who wishes to work through me to show something different. I struggle daily with my human reactions. These reactions come so quickly and they are so natural. But, I know that God has more for me. I know that He can see me and that He is the only one who can transform me fully. I pray that step by step God will continue helping me realize that He is available 24/7. That by His power and grace something different can be shown - All for His glory and purpose.